Crap Games Corner

By St John Swainson

Roadblasters by US Gold

This game is something special when it comes to the crap stakes. It is the game which made me want to sample the multiple delights of playing Out Run again. Anything that does that must be crap.

As soon as you begin loading, you become slightly concerned at the tell-tale crap signs. Terrible loading graphics and either a nine minute loading time for 128k owners or a multi-load for 48kers. Your hopes that such a large amount of code means lots of in-depth gameplay, detail, variation etc.. are very quickly dashed.

After laughing at some remarkably bad music, things just get worse. Thatís the great thing about crap games - just when you though the authors couldnít have done a worse job, it deteriorates. Roadblasters has you driving through a hostile landscape with other traffic and gun emplacements at the side of road attacking you. You have a gun to shoot them, extra weapons dropped on you occasionally and a limited amount of fuel (replenished by running over massive boulders on the road).

The enemies are either very easy to kill (traffic) or impossible (gun emplacements - the graphics are too poor for you to see them coming). They are irrelevant anyway, because it doesnít matter how many times you get blown up, you always get a new car. The only thing that kills you is running out of fuel. Obvious, really.

The graphics are just funny. Travelling in a straight line is not too bad but cornering is pathetic. Things slow down dramatically, your car turns so it is a right angles to the direction you are heading, you get an annoying skidding sound without loosing any control over the car (still going at full pelt), you can virtually drive through other cars without exploding and you wonder what on earth is going on.

To top it all off, each level (which required a multi-load) has very little variation in enemies and exactly the same road graphics and turns. I wonder what they actually put in the multi-load? US Gold were one of the most successful software houses but I have always been surprised how crap I find most of their games.

How did I delude myself into buying so many of them?

Overall: 5%

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